Today after being inspired by a discussion on the future and guidance of men on PowerFm 104.1, a Ugandan christian radio station, I was prompted to tweet this;
Who is mentoring Men/boys nowadays?
Who is teaching them to be fathers and men of honour?
Who is inspiring them to be good husbands?
— Patricia Kahill (@pkahill) October 13, 2016
You see, I think its a necessary need for the male species everywhere to be mentored and guided. Young boys can be like homing missiles without this guidance, and in most cases they seek out role models to look up to and show them the way. But are these models available? Or they also need models of their own but can’t find them?
This topic has been discussed a lot by my relatives, and the main thing my Uncles said caused the lack of passed on mentorship skills to guys, is the wars that took away these men’s fathers. These men grew up with no masculine figures to guide them, and yet the burden to take care of the home fell on them as culture deems.
According to @Bnantale’ s 2013 blog, her father said;
Everyone trains the women, they are counselled, told how to behave in society first by their mothers then by their aunties (Ssengas) before they get married even in marriage counselling, the emphasis is on the women but no one takes time off to do the same for the boys, mentor them and tell them how to behave in marriage or how to behave when their children come or give them the basic sex education, they sort of figure these things out on their own and at times through their peers.
I believe the above is true, we have left the boys to teach themselves, to ‘fall in the cups and break them’, and surely we can’t blame them for that, have you seen how is giving them advice?
The desire to reach one’s set goals, needs one to be mentored by people who can guide him, people who have been there, sailed through it already and ‘made it’ – no matter the distance sailed. Successful people in life, business or otherwise, never reach their goals alone. They learn from other people who have gone before them. They have mentors, leaders: someone who inspires, motivates, and holds them accountable.
Example of father mentors doing it for boys with none present biological fathers;
The Bible says in Titus 2:3-4a
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women.”
We could also have it as “teach older men to be ….then they can train the younger men” for we know faith plays a powerful role in mentorship, and young men need it alongside hope and vision. Within Christianity there are codes of honor, a history of chivalry, a purpose and a calling, that have helped to define healthy masculinity for many young men and women that have impacted my life. Watoto Church has a Men of Valour ministry that nurture and mentors men to be good fathers and husbands, to be good male role models to those that look up to them.
Life as we know it, has put many demands on us; like the demand to never stop learning. Mentorship is one of the ways to learn new things and improve ourselves or else we die as Albert Einstein once said,
“When you stop learning you start dying.”
We all need to learn new things, and this can’t be down by standing by our own, but
- by standing on the shoulders of giants,
- by finding someone we can model,
- by finding one we respect so much we let them impact our lives,
- the ones who can hold us accountable,
- those we will always give constant feedback on our progress,
So that we don’t have it hard as John Maxwell said,
“It’s hard to improve when you have no one to follow.”
I found the below blogs on this topic, they share more views and knowledge on why we need the male human specie mentored